This week, one of my favorite bloggers and 'religious' daily read Melissa, from So About What I Said, has opened some very interesting dialogs about relationships, tackling hot issues like 'falling in love with potential' and also on 'what women want in a significant other.'
At the same time, Diana, from exPress-O -also a favorite of mine- recently featured a brilliant article about the secrets of a happy relationship.
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Along those lines, I would like to open a new line of dialogue on my own, but focusing on 'negotiation' -I'm not sure if it's the right word- : from picking a restaurant or a trip to an apartment or a school for the kids.
I personally don't have the need to always win and certainly pick my 'battles.'
I don't want to be too 'Pollyana' about it: my goal is to be heard, to be able to talk the issue through and ultimately to be able to arrive at the best decision where everybody feels comfortable. Also, respecting the other person's opinion is also crucial -even and especially if you don't agree.
By the way, my dear Inés, from Simply Classy Me, shared a hilarious yet SO TRUE advice on Diana's post: 'just make HIM feel that it was all HIS IDEA.'
So, ladies, I would like to hear where you stand on this 'issue.'
Do you always have to win? Do you let the other person win? Do you feel comfortable just talking issues through?
Pick your fights I would say, not everything is worth fighting for. And always make him believe it was his suggestion, I agree with Ines above:)
ReplyDeletexoxo Caroline
Great topic, sweetie and thank you for including exPress-o in your post. Balazs and I are really easy-going, we usually can just talk things over and make a decision depending on the facts we have or who wants it more. I think its smartest to pick your battles. We cant always win and it wouldnt be fair anyway. Also, what Inés said its so true and really spot on! Have a beautiful day, kisses.
ReplyDeleteEn casa entendemos de negociaciones te lo aseguro, y lo más fuerte es Hugo, nuestro peque de casi 7 años, el que más...
ReplyDeleteYou're so right. It's really all about compromise. If you really love the person you're with, why wouldn't you want to do that and make them happy, too? xo style, she wrote
ReplyDeleteMy husband is far more diplomatic than me and has actually taught me to admit my mistakes and talk things through. Talking it out does help!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
Relationships is definitively a fascinating topic, dear Elsa, and my great-grandma María's quote was and still is always helpful in an absolutely feminine and manipulative way..hehe!!!, thank you sweetie for including it in your post, you made my day!!!
ReplyDeleteEstebi (my hubby) and I knew each other in kindergarten, and we were dating since high school, we grew together... I love to see him happy, and he adores to make me laugh, we learned how to give, and how to be thankful, so definitively we pick our battles...and the most important tip: win or give up quietly...
Thank you again, my friend!
Bib hugs!
Inés
SimplyClassyMe.blogspot.com
Great topic - I definitely need to learn to pick my battles more xo
ReplyDeleteI don't care about always winning...it's so not worth it! I care more about resolving the issue so that it doesn't come up again!
ReplyDeleteWell, Elsa,
ReplyDeletei always thought that you followed my ideas because i always had the best ones and the best plans...Hmm..maybe i need to think about the whole stuff again. So you always wanted to be gentle to me and wanted to make me happy and make me feel that my plans are the greatest??
So it's not like " a soccer game between england and germany takes 90 minutos and at the end germany wins?
To be serious: its all a matter of listening to the other one's personal wishes and opinions. And if sometimes you dont feel good with the made decisions, just go for it! You never know what its good for ! Kiss your girl and both are happy !! Or kiss your boy and be happy!! I dont care about winning everytime, but almost everytime.. ;-)
I am looking forward to our new "negotiations", starting tonight in New York !!
Besitos !!
Be careful: lots of satire inside today.....
Totally agree with Ines - if it feels like it's his idea, he's all in! And it's true, I think at times each party is not going to be completely in their comfort zone when having to make a compromise, but as long as the couple is working towards something that will make them both happy, it's a win win!
ReplyDeleteGreat topic, Elsa! I've been guilty of having the "need-to-be-right" mentality before, and it takes a conscious effort to meet someone -- anyone, whether it's a boyfriend, husband, best friend -- in the middle.
ReplyDeleteThanks, too, for including me!!! I'm honored! xoxo